Ever since Dec 20th. I have felt like I have been in a 'stand still'. Having the inability to move forward or move on. I had no control what so ever, so I thought...
For so long I was focused on someone's feeling, concerns, thoughts etc...that I forgot about myself. Who I was. Who I am. A good friend of mine said to me, "Amber you are the most independent woman I know, in terms of the way you are able to work the way you support yourself, not just with money but everything like that, but when it comes to relationship you're one of the most dependent person I know." It's sad, but very true. I turn to those around me for help and guidance, when really I should be turning to the one who knows me better than any family member or friend, my Heavenly Father.
The last month I have given the chance to focus on myself. Who I am, and what is most important to me in my life. My relationship with my Father has sky rocketed and my testimony, strength and courage has increased far above I ever thought possible. In times of trials and devastating events, you can look at it two ways:
One: that your world is coming to an end and you can sit around hating every living thing
or
Two: You can look for the goodness; the opportunities for growth.
Sure trails are not fun and like I said I will be the first to say that life sucks sometimes, but you are don't have to be in a stand still no matter what you are facing! I knew that I was doing all the right things; reading my scriptures, talking to the bishop, counseling, praying morning & night, attending the temple, following the commandments, but because I felt like I couldn't fix the situation, that it was out of my hands,that all I could do is wait, the more and more it felt like I was at a stand still. Limbo as my therapist said.
But I'm not.
"Standing by your post doesn't mean standing still."
Today, I went to the temple again praying for a clear answer about what should I do about being in 'limbo'...and nothing. Now, I know that the Lord works on His own schedule and timing and I can testify of that. Feeling frustrated and emotionally drained I came home and continued reading this months Ensign. And came across the talk by:Elder Carl B. Cook titled, "Look up". I recieved my answer and immediately started to cry. For so long I had been feeling like all I have been doing is standing still when that has not been the case at all.
STAND BY YOUR POST
"All of us are in need of help. And sometimes the solutions we seek do come quickly. But other times they come in ways other than we had hoped. Or they come later than we expected. And occasionally, it seems, they’re not coming at all."
"In such cases, adopt the attitude of“stand by your post” until the Lord sends some help, however long that takes. But standing by your post doesn’t mean standing still. As I mentioned, don’t be afraid to act. Keep doing good things. Keep obeying the commandments. Keep praying and studying and doing your best until you receive additional direction. Don’t abandon your post. In His time the Lord will allow all things to work out for your good.
"As Mormon explains in Helaman 3:27, “The Lord is merciful unto all who will, in the sincerity of their hearts, call upon his holy name.”
It was excatly what I needed to read to hear from my Heavenly Father that I'm not standing still, that I am doing what I am suppose to be doing. Finding myself, but more importantly growing closer to my Father in Heaven! Trusting in Him that, "...the Lord will allow all things to work our for your good."
Goal:“Looking heavenward should be our lifelong endeavor."
-Thomas S. Monson
No comments:
Post a Comment