Magic

Boy’s Life  by Robert McCammon’s

"You know, I do believe in magic. I was born and raised in a magic time, in a magic town, among magicians. Oh, most everybody else didn’t realize we lived in that web of magic, connected by silver filaments of chance and circumstance. But I knew it all along. When I was twelve years old, the world was my magic lantern, and by its green spirit glow I saw the past, the present and into the future. You probably did too; you just don’t recall it. See, this is my opinion: we all start out knowing magic. We are born with whirlwinds, forest fires, and comets inside us. We are born able to sing to birds and read the clouds and see our destiny in grains of sand. But then we get the magic educated right out of our souls. We get it churched out, spanked out, washed out, and combed out. We get put on the straight and narrow and told to be responsible. Told to act our age. Told to grow up, for God’s sake. And you know why we were told that? Because the people doing the telling were afraid of our wildness and youth, and because the magic we knew made them ashamed and sad of what they’d allowed to wither in themselves.

After you go so far away from it, though, you can’t really get it back. You can have seconds of it. Just seconds of knowing and remembering. When people get weepy at movies, it’s because in that dark theater the golden pool of magic is touched, just briefly. Then they come out into the hard sun of logic and reason again and it dries up, and they’re left feeling a little heartsad and not knowing why. When a song stirs a memory, when motes of dust turning in a shaft of light takes your attention from the world, when you listen to a train passing on a track at night in the distance and wonder where it might be going, you step beyond who you are and where you are. For the briefest of instants, you have stepped into the magic realm.

That’s what I believe."

Sometimes

I have posted this before, but it's something that I came across again and need to drill in my head on a weekly basis. I am very guilty of this! I do expect a lot from people, purely because I would be willing to do so much for anyone {not trying to be cocky at all!} I just like to give, not to just receive in return... I truly love to do things for others, it gives me tons of happiness in doing so :) I know though that I expect more from others that are the closest to me. I think I do that just because their love is greater for me than some stranger or acquaintance that hardly knows me. I have learned from experience though not to get my hopes too high for things and when things don't go my way or as I hoped; not to sweat it. Now, I am NOT perfect...so I fail at this at times, but the good thing is that I am aware. Life is WAY too short to let the tiniest things ruin our day, hard at times not too, but I am a work in progress. I think that it is safe to say that at times we are all guilty of this...some more than others {ha} but we do, it's our nature. Honestly, I wouldn't say it is necessary a bad thing its just how we react to it, or how we handle it. 

You can spend minutes, hours, days, weeks or even months over analyzing the situation, trying to put the pieces together, justifying what could've, should've, would've happened; OR you can leave the pieces on the floor and move on. In life and love, you learn that there comes a time to let go and move on. Think how different it would be if you never met the one person who changed everything. Sometimes you only forgive someone because you can't stand not having them in your life. When one door of happiness closes, another opens, but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one that has been opened for us. The longer you put off making a decision, the harder it becomes to make.If you have something to say to a loved one, don't wait until tomorrow. Too late comes sooner than later. Most people don't aim to high and miss. They aim to low and hit. Don't make someone a priority if they only make you an option. If you don't have a dream, how can you have a dream come true? Don't give up no matter how hopeless it seems and when you've lost hope, ask yourself if you're gonna wish you gave it one more shot because the best things in life don't come free. I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. There are things you don't want to happen but have to accept, things you don't want to know but have to learn, and people you can't live without but have to let go.

As people grow up, they realize it becomes less important to have more friends, and more important to have real ones. To let go isn't to forget, not to think about, or to ignore. It doesn't leave feelings of anger, jealously, or regret. Letting go isn't winning or losing. It's not about pride, and it isn't about not obsessing or dwelling on the past. It's not giving in or giving up. Letting go isn't about loss, and it's not defeat. To let go is to cherish memories, but to overcome them and move on. Letting go is accepting. Letting go is having the courage to accept change and have the strength to keep moving. Letting go is growing up. Missing someone gets easier everyday because even though you are one day further from the last time you saw them, you are one day closer to the next time you will. There's nothing scarier than getting what you want, because that's when you really have something to lose. There's a little truth behind every just kidding, a little curiosity behind every just wondering, a little knowledge behind every I don't know, and a little emotion behind every I don't care.

If you keep doing what you've always done, you'll keep getting what you've always gotten. It's hard to know you'll never remember the things I'll never forget.Smile big for everyone, even when you know what they've done. I'm not a perfect person. There's many things I wish I didn't do, But I continue learning; I look around at what everyone has And I forget about all I've got; I forgive, but I never forget. A day without smiling is a day wasted. Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind. The only people you need in your life are the ones that prove they need you in theirs. Life's not about the people who act true to your face. It's about the people who remain true behind your back. Live for the moments you can't put into words. "Sometimes we expect more from others because we would be willing to do that much more for them."

I'm the kind of girl who doesn't say much, but when i do, it means a lot.

Forgiving

Forgiving Oneself

FBY ELDER D. CHAD RICHARDSON

Area Seventy North America Southwest Area

At a recent stake conference, as the congregation sang the hymn “Praise to the Man,” I thought about the composer, William W. Phelps. I was grateful for his hymns—15 in the current hymnbook—and for his love of the gospel and of the Prophet Joseph Smith.

I recalled how, during the trials of Missouri, he was reprimanded for misuse of Church funds and selling lands contrary to counsel. As a result, he became very bitter in Far West and turned against the Prophet and the Saints. Along with other apostates, W. W. Phelps was involved in an affidavit against the Prophet issued in Richmond, Missouri, in November 1838. After Governor Lilburn W. Boggs’s extermination order, the Saints were driven from Missouri, while the Prophet and his associates were imprisoned for months in the terrible winter dungeon of Liberty Jail.

By 1840 W. W. Phelps had experienced a profound change of heart and wrote to the Prophet pleading for forgiveness. In response, Joseph’s letter concluded with the couplet “Come on, dear brother, since the war is past, / For friends at first, are friends again at last.” ¹ Joseph freely forgave Brother Phelps and took him back into full fellowship.

When Brother Phelps learned that Joseph and Hyrum had been killed by a mob, he was devastated. With great power and inspiration, he expressed his own feelings and those of the entire Church as he penned the hymn “Praise to the Man.”

As we sang that hymn in stake conference, I was deeply moved by one line in the chorus: “Traitors and tyrants now fight him in vain.” ² How, I wondered, could Brother Phelps speak of traitors and tyrants fighting the Prophet when he himself had been one? Immediately I realized not only that Brother Phelps was no longer a traitor but also that he must have come to no longer see himself as one. The genuine, complete love and trust he received from Brother Joseph helped make it possible for him not only to forgive himself but also to erase his image of himself as a traitor.

We Must Forgive All

Unfortunately, many Latter-day Saints today continue to carry the burden of past sins because they refuse to forgive themselves. President Howard W. Hunter (1907–95) observed: “It has always struck me as being sad that those among us who would not think of reprimanding our neighbor, much less a total stranger, for mistakes that have been made or weaknesses that might be evident, will nevertheless be cruel and unforgiving to themselves. When the scriptures say to judge righteously, that means with fairness and compassion and charity. That’s how we must judge ourselves. We need to be patient and forgiving of ourselves, just as we must be patient and forgiving of others.” ³

Apparently, many individuals do not understand the importance of self-forgiveness in the process of repentance. The Lord, however, makes no exceptions when He declares, “I, the Lord, will forgive whom I will forgive, but of you it is required to forgive all men” (D&C 64:10; emphasis added). This includes forgiving ourselves.

Without doubt, Satan uses this refusal to forgive ourselves as a means of enslaving us by turning past sins into addictions. He tempts some, for example, to believe that if they make themselves suffer enough, they will not return to the sin. This often leads, however, to self-loathing or self-abuse.

Satan tempts others to judge themselves harshly and to believe they don’t deserve to be forgiven, even when the Lord is willing to forgive them. Such individuals continue to dwell on their transgressions and mistakes, remembering the details and thus increasing the danger of repeating them. According to President Boyd K. Packer, Acting President of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, “Preoccupation with unworthy behavior can lead to unworthy behavior.” ⁴

People trapped in this cycle of sin, self-condemnation, and further sin, tend to become discouraged. Satan also uses discouragement to create addictions. A discouraged individual will be tempted to stop trying or to seek solace in more sin. In contrast, the Savior beckons us forward with the promise that we can become free from the chains of sin as we fully repent and forgive ourselves.

Sorrow for Sin

Sorrow always follows the recognition of sin. The destructive form of this sorrow, which often manifests itself as self-condemnation, is related to what the Apostle Paul called “sorrow of the world,” which “worketh death.” In contrast, he described a positive form of sorrow, “godly sorrow,” which “worketh repentance to salvation” (2 Corinthians 7:10). A main difference between these two forms of sorrow is their source. Worldly sorrow is promoted by Satan. It is the sorrow of being caught, of not being able to continue sinning, or of turning against oneself with self-loathing or disdain.

Godly sorrow, on the other hand, is sorrow given as a gift from God to those who are willing to receive it. Godly sorrow leads us to a full recognition of the magnitude of our sins but with the knowledge that we can become free of them. It leads us to fully recognize the wrongs we have committed without giving in to the temptation to see ourselves as worthless or beyond God’s love.

There is no room in godly sorrow for self-contempt. Those who refuse to forgive themselves thus bear a double burden of sin, for not only do they carry the sin itself, but they also add to it the sin of self-condemnation and refusing to forgive. Indeed, refusal to forgive is cited in the scriptures as “the greater sin” (D&C 64:9).

We Are Not Alone

Over the years, as I have counseled with members and missionaries, I have found that many wonderful, otherwise faithful Latter-day Saints find it difficult to forgive themselves, even after being told that they must do so. Some have deep-seated patterns of anger and impatience with themselves that are hard to change.

Fortunately, we are not alone. The Savior, through His Atonement, can help us not only to remove the sins but also to forgive ourselves. To receive His help, we need to ask for it. And we need to be willing, given all our mortal limitations and weaknesses, to do all that we can do (see 2 Nephi 25:23).

President Packer taught:

“Save for the exception of the very few who defect to perdition, there is no habit, no addiction, no rebellion, no transgression, no apostasy, no crime exempted from the promise of complete forgiveness. That is the promise of the Atonement of Christ. …

“… Do not give up if at first you fail. … Do not give up. That brilliant morning will come.” ⁵

Love is a necessary precursor to being able to forgive oneself. As we develop an overpowering love of and gratitude for Jesus for His willingness to forgive us, we earnestly desire to come unto Him—to study His life and teachings and act upon them so that we become more like Him. As we do that, our own capacity to love grows to the point that we can indeed love and forgive ourselves and others.

Forgetting

Forgetting is part of forgiving. But forgiving oneself involves a special kind of forgetting. We don’t forget the sin and its effects; rather, the memory ceases to be part of how we see ourselves. For example, when Alma had been forgiven of his sins, he said, “I was harrowed up by the memory of my sins no more” (Alma 36:19). The fact that he could describe his repentance to his son Helaman showed that a memory was still there. But through Christ’s Atonement and forgiveness, that memory lost its edge of guilt and self-recrimination.

We must keep sin in its proper perspective. Satan would convince us that we are defined by our sins. He would have had the repentant W. W. Phelps see himself always as a traitor. He would convince someone who has stolen that he is and always will be a thief.

The Savior, in contrast, would have us understand that we have sins that need to be cleansed, but we are much more than those stains. If I spill ketchup on my shirt, I have a stain. Perhaps it is right in front where everyone can see it. But while I have a stain, I am not the stain. I need to recognize that there is a good deal of my shirt that is clean and white. I believe that God sees the white shirt—the goodness in His children—and offers, through Christ, to remove the stains. If we obsess about the stain, however, it will become who we are in our minds and then in our actions.

Many years ago I had an experience that helped me understand the forgetting process. When I was very young, a man with a large, rather startling birthmark on his face moved into our ward. After some time, this man was called as our bishop, and he served during all my Aaronic Priesthood years. He was a wonderful bishop, and the members of our ward learned to love him dearly.

Years later, while I was attending BYU, someone vaguely familiar with the town where I grew up asked me who my bishop was. He didn’t recognize the name I gave and asked for a description. I described his height, his profession, and many other things about him. The individual asked, “Oh, is he the man with the birthmark on his face?” I had to think for a moment and then said, “Yes, I guess he does have a birthmark.” I was surprised at myself, for in my mind the birthmark had disappeared. That simply was not an important part of who he was to me, though I could still remember it if I tried.

Forgiveness Does Not Mean Excusing Sin

Forgiving a sin does not mean excusing it. When we forgive a sin, we neither say it is OK nor that payment will not be required. Rather, forgiveness allows us to turn both the final judgment of guilt and the full payment of the debt over to the Lord. The Lord tells us in Doctrine and Covenants 64:11, “Ye ought to say in your hearts—let God judge between me and thee, and reward thee according to thy deeds.” Further, in Doctrine and Covenants 82:23, He says, “Leave judgment alone with me, for it is mine and I will repay.”

When we sin or make mistakes, our Heavenly Father wants us to quickly resume our journey home with a new and even stronger grip on the iron rod. The repentance of Alma the Younger illustrates this principle of moving on. A “wicked and an idolatrous man” (Mosiah 27:8), he was brought to a realization of his sins, repented, and experienced a mighty change of heart (see Mosiah 27:11–37). He chose to take the strait and narrow path, filling his mind and his life with good works rather than remaining at the side of the road worrying about his past transgressions. He didn’t have time for that. And neither do we.

The Savior Is Key

When we turn to our Savior, He can heal us not only of the sin but also of the self-recrimination and the constant mental replaying of our sins or obsessing over them. We must turn the sins and the guilt over to the Savior in a process of complete repentance. For serious sins we will need the help of a bishop or another appropriate priesthood leader to complete our repentance. We then must let the Savior judge whether we or He must make final payment for the sin. Finally, we will need the Savior’s help to feel self-acceptance rather than self-contempt.

With the Lord’s help, we will experience a change in how we see ourselves. I believe this is the wonderful change that happened to Brother Phelps. Because of his repentance and his willingness to forgive himself, he was no longer a traitor. He was able to accomplish many great spiritual and civic works following the Prophet’s death. I believe his accomplishments would have been highly unlikely had he not, with the help of the Prophet and the Lord, fully forgiven himself. Let us learn from his example.

think about what you are thinking about

A great interview with can be applied to everyone in life, thought I'd share! :) It is long but worth it to listen too. 

http://www.mormonchannel.org/insights/15

Four things to do...please!

Read this on A Cup of JO and thought it was very good advice and very applicable to me so if anyone wanted to get leavitt and I massages that would be great thanks! :)
Four things to say to a friend after a bad breakup

After graduating from college, I went through a rough breakup...

...I had been dating a guy for almost two years; and, after I moved to New York while he stayed in Michigan, we realized we had grown apart. We both agreed to break up (and now I'm so glad we did!)...but at the time, my heart was in a blender. Thankfully, I still remember what people said and did that really helped, and I try to do the same thing for my friends now going through breakups...

Four things to do for a friend after a breakup:

1. Say two little words. When your heartbroken friend is talking about her worries, she's probably also wondering if she's annoying you. The best thing you can say to someone who's spilling her woes? "What else?" You'll show her that you support her and want her to share all her thoughts--as long as it takes. My friend Colby used to say this when I was upset ("Mmmhmm, I know...what else?"), and I CANNOT tell you how amazing it was. Just those two little words.

2. "You will be happy again." My mom said this to me in the car years ago, when I was crying after breaking up with my college boyfriend. It was incredibly comforting to hear. When you're heartbroken, it's hard to imagine ever feeling differently, and her words made me feel hopeful: I could give myself time to mourn the end of the relationship, but then it would pass.

3. Boost her up. Tell her how smart/funny/beautiful she is! Getting dumped can be a blow to a person's self-esteem, and she might be thinking that she's not pretty enough, not fun enough, not love-able enough. So tell her exactly why you adore her and how wonderful she is. Make a list if you want!

4. Get her a massage. My friend Erin recently told me that she gave her best friend a gift certificate for a professional massage, when she was going through a breakup. Isn't that a brilliant idea? I once read that when you break up with a romantic partner, you often miss thetouch as much as the actual person. Your body can physically miss them. A massage would help her feel touched, relaxed and pampered--and help release endorphins to make her feel happier. What an awesome idea.

What do you say to friends who are going through a breakup? What has helped you when you're in that situation? Have you ever been through a really tough one? Are any of you going through a breakup right now? We've all been there!!

Meeting Ellen..kissing Usher...now on American Idol.

So I met ali shield at a party I threw for a friend and she was so much fun! Before, I knew that she was on Ellen due to a song she sang & wrote and was so jealous! She has an amazing voice and is now on American Idol.  I admire people like ali who go after their dreams and aren't afraid to put themselves out there! She will go far...and really needs to cd because I LOVE her voice and would totally buy it! :)

she's so clever!

I could listen to this song over and over again :)Way to go Ali!

Little things

I have ALWAYS appreciated the little things in life! A simple note left by someone to make you smile, a friend to come cook you dinner when you didn't have a good day, an old friend to remind you they'll always be here for you,a friend that just stops by at just the right time,an i love you text just because <3, GREAT NEWS,  a two year old to say the darndest things to always keep you smiling! The little things truly make life so much better! The smallest things can brighten you're day in the worst kind of mood. I am so grateful to have a job where I can go to work and know without a doubt I will smile, even in the toughest times they always make me laugh and forget about life for a while. 

Its the tiny things that we hold on too in life that bring us SO much joy. Remember that throughout your week and go out and do a tiny thing for someone...brighten up their day because you never know if they were having a bad one. :)

The littlest things in life truly have the HUGEST impact! It's all about the simple things that makes life SO WONDERFUL! :)

Goodnight everyone! Hope tomorrow is a great for you all :)

I am a Mormon.

Lately, I have came across the "I am a Mormon" tag on others blogs and made me think about the question, "Why Am I Mormon?" I haven't always been Mormon so why am I now and here's what I came up with...

I haven't always been a Mormon. I bet a lot of you reading this right now knew me before I became a Mormon. Religion is such a taboo topic in our world today, isn't it? People aren't afraid to openly talk about things like sex, drugs, or spout off foul language like it's going out of style. But religion? Woah, woah, woah, we don't want to make anyone uncomfortable! Well, that's how I have always felt at least.

It's no secret that I am LDS. But it's also not something that always comes up in casual conversation. By no means am I afraid to talk about it. I will happily talk openly with anyone and everyone who wants to know about why I made this change in my life. And while I totally get that nobody wants religion pushed on them, many people who have a strong faith would like to share that with people they care about because it's a source of so much joy in their lives.

I also think it's valuable and important to have a basic, open-minded understanding of world religions, and not make assumptions about any religion. Did you know that Mormons are members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints? Wait, which church? The official, and most appropriate name of the "Mormon" church is actually The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. You read right. We are indeed Christians who believe in Jesus Christ. While the world generally knows us as Mormons, we will usually refer to ourselves as LDS (short for "Latter-day Saints").

I was not raised in a religious home and neither of my parents attended church. When I was a small child, from time to time I attended church with my grandparents. Most of the time it was in Spanish so I didn't understand a thing, but I loved the idea of being there. Later in life I found myself in a varied of different congregations. None of these places felt right for me. I always had questions that would go unanswered and many times, when I attended these congregations, more questions formed.

I didn't learn about The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints until I was in high school. Many of my friends were Mormons and I was impressed by their example. They were happy, seemed to know who they were and appeared content. All things I had been striving towards since I was a little child.

I'll never forget when I met with the missionaries. For the first time in my life, I was told that I was a Child of God. That I had a Father in Heaven that loved me, that knew me. I learned of the Prophet Joseph Smith and how he spent much of his childhood feeling the same way I had been feeling. He was searching for the truth and through the power of God, translated the Book of Mormon and restored Christ's church back to the earth. I learned that families can be together forever. A few short months after completing the missionary discussions, at the age of nineteen, I was baptized.

So, why am I a Mormon? I am a Mormon because The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints is the Lord's church. I am a Mormon because I know the Book of Mormon to be the word of God. I am a Mormon because I believe Joseph Smith is a prophet. I am a Mormon because I know there is living prophet on the earth today. Finally, I am a Mormon because I spent the first part of my life searching for the truth. And I found it.

"We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned..."

The most difficult thing I have ever done!!! But I know somewhere that my Heavenly Father has something better out there for me. Where? Not sure but my life DOES NOT end here. I have much to look forward too. My life will continue and I will be just fine. Our trails only make us stronger! And when it gets to heavy for me to carry it on my own, my Father will pick me up and be with me every step of the way! 

I have HOPE. I have FAITH. 

I know I will be just fine. 

I will find happiness I hope:/

A little bit stronger

Woke up late today and I still feel the sting of the pain
But I brushed my teeth anyway
I got dressed through the mess and put a smile on my face
I got a little bit stronger

Riding in the car to work and I'm trying to ignore the hurt
So I turned on the radio, stupid song made me think of you
I listened to it for minute but I changed it
I'm getting a little bit stronger, just a little bit stronger

And I'm done hoping that we could work it out
I'm done with how it feels, spinning my wheels
Letting you drag my heart around
And, oh, I'm done thinking that you could ever change

I know my heart will never be the same
But I'm telling myself I'll be okay
Even on my weakest days
I get a little bit stronger

Doesn't happen overnight but you turn around
And a month's gone by and you realize you haven't cried
I'm not giving you a hour or a second or another minute longer
I'm busy getting stronger

And I'm done hoping that we can work it out
I'm done with how it feels, spinning my wheels
Letting you drag my heart around
And, oh, I'm done thinking, that you could ever change

I know my heart will never be the same
But I'm telling myself I'll be okay
Even on my weakest days, I get a little bit stronger
I get a little bit stronger

Getting along without you, baby
I'm better off without you, baby
How does it feel without me, baby?
I'm getting stronger without you, baby

And I'm done hoping we could work it out
I'm done with how it feels, spinning my wheels
Letting you drag my heart around
And, oh, I'm done thinking that you could ever change

I know my heart will never be the same
But I'm telling myself I'll be okay
Even on my weakest days
I get a little bit stronger

I get a little bit stronger
Just a little bit stronger
A little bit, a little bit, a little bit stronger
I get a little bit stronger

Nut shell

WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 18, 2012

Sum up of my feelings of tonight, let's just say, 

"if life had a face, i'd punch it" :(

I have so much to look forward to in life. I am young, strong, smart, beautiful, outgoing, funny, talented, passionate, loving, caring and well so much more. Life has much to offer me. Life will go on and there is a better life planned for me than I had planned for myself. 

On the right path

TUESDAY, JANUARY 17, 2012

I couldn't agree more with this saying! I have been beyond blessed by those in my life who I can ask for a blessing or a shoulder to cry on and they, "Never look at their schedule when you need them." I can't begin to express my love and gratitude for those in my life! You know who you are. Thank you, Thank you, THANK YOU :)

 Today, I have felt like I've been in a daze. Anxious, excitement, nervousness, scared, hopeful, anxiety, and so much more...really I can't put my finger on one specific thing and I don't think I could even if I tried. How can I? Well, that was the question of the day for me today. How can I be clam and at peace knowing that I will have a very important day ahead of me...and the more and more I thought I convinced myself that it's impossible to be clam.

BUT then a light bulb went off haha I prayed. I prayed for calmness, comfort and to be at peace. And it worked for a bit haha but after I received my blessing I was once again showered with strength & courage and I was @ peace. That no matter what happens, I will be happy. My Heavenly Father will continue to watch out for me and take care of me as He has been.

Listening to my blessing and hearing that My Heavenly Father knows and has seen my personal progress that I have made over the last few weeks and that I'm on the right track gave me so much peace knowing that I am doing all the things I need to be doing at this time. That He has seen me grow and He has seen me become more like the daughter He wants me to be. He wants more than anything for me to be happy. And that as I continue doing the things I have been doing He will lead me to Happiness.  

I came across a talk today in this months Ensign, titled, Letting Go of My Fear, and I couldn't help but apply it to myself. You will see why...

LETTING GO OF 

MY FEAR

I was baptized on my 40th birthday after eight years of resisting the attempts of my husband, his home 

teachers, and so many sets of missionaries that I lost count—all trying to get me to read the Book of Mormon. On July 4, 1991, I finally began to read it and found that I could hardly put it down to eat or sleep until I finished. Now when I hear the hymn “I Stand All Amazed,” 1 I feel as if it were written just for me, and I truly do stand all amazed when I think of what I have now as a member of the Church compared to what I had before. Converting to the Church after years of being agnostic gave me an entirely different outlook on the world and my place in it. I embraced this new way of life and even newer way of thinking, but I struggled to let go of some of my old inhibitions. I was terrified at the thought of saying a public prayer or testimony and was adamant that I would never do so. I had stayed firm in my resolve for three years when my bishop asked to talk with me. He suggested that it would be a growth experience for me to share the testimony he knew I had in a fast and testimony meeting. I told him I could not do it yet. He gently told me he hoped I would be able to do so soon. I felt that my testimony was private and personal, so when I told my husband about my response to the bishop’s suggestion, I expected him to agree with me. To my surprise, Terry encouraged me to search the scriptures about proclaiming the gospel, to pray about what I read, and to try to bear a brief testimony the next Sunday. I couldn’t believe what he was asking me to do! Then I got an idea. I would simply go to the pulpit on Sunday, recite the same words the children say, and be done with it. Sunday came and I was ready, but I sat there in the meeting waiting for the courage to stand up. My palms were wet, my mouth was dry, and I couldn’t move. Finally the meeting was only a few minutes from ending, and I began praying for the strength to go up. I took a deep breath. And then I decided I just couldn’t do it yet. Maybe I would next month. I began to calm down, but suddenly I felt such an urge to get up that I nearly leaped out of my seat. I literally bounded up the aisle, quickly said one last silent prayer, and started as planned. “I want to bear my testimony. I know this Church is true. I love my . . .” I went blank. I stood there in silence for what seemed like forever, and then I started quietly: “I just want you all to know how much this Church means to me. Before I had the gospel, I had no one to turn to during the hard times. I got frustrated and became an angry young woman.” I felt as if I would pass out, but my mouth kept moving: “I do not think many of you would have liked me back 

then. In fact, you probably would have feared me.” I was in shock at the words coming out of my mouth, but I helplessly continued. I told the congregation about an experience in my life when I had been so angry at another driver for a small offense he committed against me that I became outraged and verbally threatened him! I actually felt satisfied when I saw him lock his doors because I knew he was afraid of me. I felt that my testimony was private, but when I finally shared it, I realized it had the power to help others. 

At this point in my testimony I was stifling my sobs and trying to stop talking, but I continued on. “I felt trapped, and I was angry at the world, all the while wondering, ‘Why me?’ This gospel has taught me that there is a reason we go through our trials, and more important, I know that I am not alone and that I am a daughter of God. I am now a different woman, and I have found the peace I always wanted.” Sobbing nearly uncontrollably, I quickly finished. As I sat down, I wondered why I had blurted that out. I was embarrassed, feeling I had exposed too much of myself. I hadn’t even thought of that driving incident for 15 years. But when the meeting ended, many ward members expressed love for me and gratitude for my remarks. My husband and I moved away shortly after that, but we moved back into the ward less than a year later. Our first Sunday back was wonderful; I had forgotten how much I loved those people. At the end of sacrament meeting, a sister came up to me and gave me a bear hug. She told me she and her daughter had cut off all communication with each other many years ago, and she said, “Your testimony made me realize that if you had once been so angry and yet became the woman you are now, then maybe my daughter was no longer the angry person I saw so long ago.” She continued with tears swelling in her eyes. “I called my daughter, and she wasn’t angry anymore. I cannot tell you how grateful I am for your testimony that day.” I hugged her and told her I was glad my humiliation did someone some good. She responded, “No! You have no idea what your testimony did for me and for my daughter and her children—my grandchildren I did not even know. I am certain that Heavenly Father had a hand in this. You really needed to say those things to wake me up!” She then told me that shortly after their reunion her daughter had been diagnosed with a fast-growing, incurable cancer, and she had recently passed away. This woman was grateful for the time she was able to spend with her daughter and the role she could now play in the lives of her grandchildren. I cried with gratitude that the Spirit had not given up on me as I sat in the congregation, trying to gather the courage to stand up. As this sister shared her experience with me, I learned how important it is that we as members bear our testimonies when we are prompted. I never thought Heavenly Father would call on “a soul so rebellious and proud as mine” 2 to share my testimony and in turn help another. My husband and I moved again after I learned this great lesson, and we were called to be stake missionaries in our new stake. I knew that accepting this calling would require a lot from me and would take me far outside my comfort zone. I was scared, but I was determined to turn over a new leaf. I said prayers when asked, and I even promised myself I would bear testimony as often as I could muster the will. Being a missionary was not always easy, but because a lot of people we approached reminded me of the woman I had been, I was determined to share with them the peace I had found in the gospel—a gift I will be forever grateful for.

Even though I have yet to bear my testimony at church on my own at least. I have let go of many of my own personal fears over the last couple weeks and could not be any more proud and happier. The temple was a scary place for me for a long time and now it is my safe house in a way. I have grown to love and appreciate being able to be worthy to attend the Lord's house and to be able to help those on the other side to eternal progress. It truly has been a struggle of mine but I have conquered it and words can't express how proud of myself that I did! :) 

Well I should get to bed. Long day tomorrow...

"...but I feel strongly that for the most part they can be and should be."

MONDAY, JANUARY 16, 2012

Great talk, given by the Prophet. 
I invite you all to read it. :) 

Priesthood Power

THOMAS S. MONSON

PRESIDENT OF THE CHURCH

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May we be worthy recipients of the divine power of the priesthood we bear. May it bless our lives and may we use it to bless the lives of others.

I prayed and studied long about what I might say tonight. I wish not to offend anyone. I thought, “What are the challenges we have? What do I deal with every day that causes me to weep sometimes late into the night?” I thought that I would try to address a few of those challenges tonight. Some will apply to the young men. Some will apply to those who are middle aged. Some will apply to those who are a little bit above middle age. We don’t talk about old age.

And so I simply want to begin by declaring, it has been good for us to be together this evening. We’ve heard wonderful and timely messages concerning the priesthood of God. I, with you, have been uplifted and inspired.

Tonight I wish to address matters which have been much on my mind of late and which I have felt impressed to share with you. In one way or another, they all relate to the personal worthiness required to receive and exercise the sacred power of the priesthood which we hold.

May I begin by reciting to you from section 121 of the Doctrine and Covenants:

“The rights of the priesthood are inseparably connected with the powers of heaven, and … the powers of heaven cannot be controlled nor handled only upon the principles of righteousness.

“That they may be conferred upon us, it is true; but when we undertake to cover our sins, or to gratify our pride, our vain ambition, or to exercise control or dominion or compulsion upon the souls of the children of men, in any degree of unrighteousness, behold, the heavens withdraw themselves; the Spirit of the Lord is grieved; and when it is withdrawn, Amen to the priesthood or the authority of that man.”¹

Brethren, that is the definitive word of the Lord concerning His divine authority. We cannot be in doubt as to the obligation this places upon each of us who bear the priesthood of God.

We have come to the earth in troubled times. The moral compass of the masses has gradually shifted to an “almost anything goes” position.

I’ve lived long enough to have witnessed much of the metamorphosis of society’s morals. Where once the standards of the Church and the standards of society were mostly compatible, now there is a wide chasm between us, and it’s growing ever wider.

Many movies and television shows portray behavior which is in direct opposition to the laws of God. Do not subject yourself to the innuendo and outright filth which are so often found there. The lyrics in much of today’s music fall in the same category. The profanity so prevalent around us today would never have been tolerated in the not-too-distant past. Sadly, the Lord’s name is taken in vain over and over again. Recall with me the commandment—one of the ten—which the Lord revealed to Moses on Mount Sinai: “Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain; for the Lord will not hold him guiltless that taketh his name in vain.”² I am sorry that any of us is subjected to profane language, and I plead with you not to use it. I implore you not to say or to do anything of which you cannot be proud.

Stay completely away from pornography. Do not allow yourself to view it, ever. It has proven to be an addiction which is more than difficult to overcome. Avoid alcohol and tobacco or any other drugs, also addictions which you would be hard pressed to conquer.

What will protect you from the sin and evil around you?

I maintain that a strong testimony of our Savior and of His gospel will help see you through to safety. If you have not read the Book of Mormon, read it. I will not ask for a show of hands. If you do so prayerfully and with a sincere desire to know the truth, the Holy Ghost will manifest its truth to you. If it is true—and it is—then Joseph Smith was a prophet who saw God the Father and His Son, Jesus Christ. The Church is true. If you do not already have a testimony of these things, do that which is necessary to obtain one.It is essential for you to have your own testimony, for the testimonies of others will carry you only so far. Once obtained, a testimony needs to be kept vital and alive through obedience to the commandments of God and through regular prayer and scripture study.Attend church. You young men, attend seminary or institute if such is available to you.


Should there be anything amiss in your life, there is open to you a way out. Cease any unrighteousness. Talk with your bishop. Whatever the problem, it can be worked out through proper repentance. You can become clean once again. Said the Lord, speaking of those who repent, “Though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow,”³ “and I, the Lord, remember them no more.”⁴

The Savior of mankind described Himself as being in the world but not of the world.⁵ We also can be in the world but not of the world as we reject false concepts and false teachings and remain true to that which God has commanded.
Now, I have thought a lot lately about you young men who are of an age to marry but who have not yet felt to do so. I see lovely young ladies who desire to be married and to raise families, and yet their opportunities are limited because so many young men are postponing marriage.


This is not a new situation. Much has been said concerning this matter by past Presidents of the Church. I share with you just one or two examples of their counsel.

Said President Harold B. Lee, “We are not doing our duty as holders of the priesthood when we go beyond the marriageable age and withhold ourselves from an honorable marriage to these lovely women.”⁶

President Gordon B. Hinckley said this: “My heart reaches out to … our single sisters, who long for marriage and cannot seem to find it. … I have far less sympathy for the young men, who under the customs of our society, have the prerogative to take the initiative in these matters but in so many cases fail to do so.”⁷

I realize there are many reasons why you may be hesitating to take that step of getting married. If you are concerned about providing financially for a wife and family, may I assure you that there is no shame in a couple having to scrimp and save. It is generally during these challenging times that you will grow closer together as you learn to sacrifice and to make difficult decisions. Perhaps you are afraid of making the wrong choice. To this I say that you need to exercise faith. Find someone with whom you can be compatible. Realize that you will not be able to anticipate every challenge which may arise, but be assured that almost anything can be worked out if you are resourceful and if you are committed to making your marriage work.

Perhaps you are having a little too much fun being single, taking extravagant vacations, buying expensive cars and toys, and just generally enjoying the carefree life with your friends. I’ve encountered groups of you running around together, and I admit that I’ve wondered why you aren’t out with the young ladies.

Brethren, there is a point at which it’s time to think seriously about marriage and to seek a companion with whom you want to spend eternity. If you choose wisely and if you are committed to the success of your marriage, there is nothing in this life which will bring you greater happiness.

When you marry, brethren, you will wish to marry in the house of the Lord. For you who hold the priesthood, there should be no other option. Be careful lest you destroy your eligibility to be so married. You can keep your courtship within proper bounds while still having a wonderful time.

Now, brethren, I turn to another subject about which I feel impressed to address you. In the three years since I was sustained as President of the Church, I believe the saddest and most discouraging responsibility I have each week is the handling of cancellations of sealings. Each one was preceded by a joyous marriage in the house of the Lord, where a loving couple was beginning a new life together and looking forward to spending the rest of eternity with each other. And then months and years go by, and for one reason or another, love dies. It may be the result of financial problems, lack of communication, uncontrolled tempers, interference from in-laws, entanglement in sin. There are any number of reasons.

In most cases divorce does not have to be the outcome. 

The vast majority of requests for cancellations of sealings come from women who tried desperately to make a go of the marriage but who, in the final analysis, could not overcome the problems. 

Choose a companion carefully and prayerfully; and when you are married, be fiercely loyal one to another. Priceless advice comes from a small framed plaque I once saw in the home of an uncle and aunt. It read, “Choose your love; love your choice.”There is great wisdom in those few words. Commitment in marriage is absolutely essential.

Your wife is your equal. In marriage neither partner is superior nor inferior to the other. You walk side by side as a son and a daughter of God. She is not to be demeaned or insulted but should be respected and loved. Said President Gordon B. Hinckley:“Any man in this Church who … exercises unrighteous dominion over [his wife] is unworthy to hold the priesthood. Though he may have been ordained, the heavens will withdraw, the Spirit of the Lord will be grieved, and it will be amen to the authority of the priesthood of that man.” 

President Howard W. Hunter said this about marriage: “Being happily and successfully married is generally not so much a matter of marrying the right person as it is being the right person.” I like that. “The conscious effort to do one’s part fully is the greatest element contributing to success.”⁹

{GREAT STORY}  

Many years ago in the ward over which I presided as the bishop, there lived a couple who often had very serious, heated disagreements. I mean real disagreements. Each of the two was certain of his or her position. Neither one would yield to the other. When they weren’t arguing, they maintained what I would call an uneasy truce.

One morning at 2:00 a.m. I had a telephone call from the couple. They wanted to talk to me, and they wanted to talk right then. I dragged myself from bed, dressed, and went to their home. They sat on opposite sides of the room, not speaking to each other. The wife communicated with her husband by talking to me. He replied to her by talking to me. I thought, “How in the world are we going to get this couple together?”

I prayed for inspiration, and the thought came to me to ask them a question. I said, “How long has it been since you have been to the temple and witnessed a temple sealing?” They admitted it had been a very long time. They were otherwise worthy people who held temple recommends and who went to the temple and did ordinance work for others.

I said to them, “Will you come with me to the temple on Wednesday morning at 8:00? We will witness a sealing ceremony there.”

In unison they asked, “Whose ceremony?"  I responded, “I don’t know. It will be for whoever is getting married that morning.

On the following Wednesday at the appointed hour, we met at the Salt Lake Temple. The three of us went into one of the beautiful sealing rooms, not knowing a soul in the room except Elder ElRay L. Christiansen, then an Assistant to the Quorum of the Twelve, a General Authority position which existed at that time. Elder Christiansen was scheduled to perform a sealing ceremony for a bride and groom in that very room that morning. I am confident the bride and her family thought, “These must be friends of the groom” and that the groom’s family thought, “These must be friends of the bride.” My couple were seated on a little bench with about a full two feet (0.6 m) of space between them.

Elder Christiansen began by providing counsel to the couple who were being married, and he did so in a beautiful fashion. He mentioned how a husband should love his wife, how he should treat her with respect and courtesy, honoring her as the heart of the home. Then he talked to the bride about how she should honor her husband as the head of the home and be of support to him in every way.

I noticed that as Elder Christiansen spoke to the bride and the groom, my couple moved a little closer together. Soon they were seated right next to one another. What pleased me is that they had both moved at about the same rate. By the end of the ceremony, my couple were sitting as close to each other as though they were the newlyweds. Each was smiling.

We left the temple that day, and no one ever knew who we were or why we had come, but my friends were holding hands as they walked out the front door. Their differences had been set aside. I had not had to say one word. You see, they remembered their own wedding day and the covenants they had made in the house of God. They were committed to beginning again and trying harder this time around.

If any of you are having difficulty in your marriage, I urge you to do all that you can to make whatever repairs are necessary, that you might be as happy as you were when your marriage started out. We who are married in the house of the Lord do so for time and for all eternity, and then we must put forth the necessary effort to make it so. I realize that there are situations where marriages cannot be saved, but I feel strongly that for the most part they can be and should be.

Do not let your marriage get to the point where it is in jeopardy.

President Hinckley taught that it is up to each of us who hold the priesthood of God to discipline ourselves so that we stand above the ways of the world. It is essential that we be honorable and decent men. Our actions must be above reproach.

The words we speak, the way we treat others, and the way we live our lives all impact our effectiveness as men and boys holding the priesthood.

The gift of the priesthood is priceless. It carries with it the authority to act as God’s servants, to administer to the sick, to bless our families, and to bless others as well. Its authority can reach beyond the veil of death, on into the eternities. There is nothing else to compare with it in all this world. Safeguard it, treasure it, live worthy of it.¹⁰

My beloved brethren, may righteousness guide our every step as we journey through life. Today and always, may we be worthy recipients of the divine power of the priesthood we bear. May it bless our lives and may we use it to bless the lives of others, as did He who lived and died for us—even Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior. This is my prayer in His sacred name, His holy name, amen.